They say the part of your brain that registers pain is right next to the one that registers love.
Tumblr was consistently not working for me forever. Maybe now that it’s had a break, it will.
Anyway, hi. I miss you guys. I’ve been so busy that the last however long has flown by. Like… right past me without so much as a “hey there” or “fuck you”.
I’m so scattered, guys. I don’t know what I should and shouldn’t be doing anymore. Nothing goes right even if I think it’s the right thing. Things around me are going wrong without even trying. I don’t know what is going on. I’ve always been of the mindset that if something isn’t working and everything else goes down with it, maybe it’s a sign that it’s not for you and it’s time to try something else.
But I don’t know what the hell I’m even doing that’s wrong. I go to school. I do shit for Kappa. I hang out with friends. Isn’t that the basics? Nothing added on. Nothing I’m trying to accomplish.
The only solution I can think of is that I’ve been talking to this guy. Right after our first date, I broke my foot. Literally, that same exact night. One of my professors turned into theEnglishbitchfromthethirdcircleofhell. Find out Wells Fargo has been ass-raping me because I hardly look over my statements. (Yes, my fault. But I had no reason to be inspecting them at the time. I was also unaware that my checking account was backed up to my credit card and had put money into my checking account. I thought it was just money I had, therefore it was spent. Now I owe them $440.) I’m supposed to give them $369 tomorrow. Problem: my financial aid still hasn’t gone through. It was supposed to be here yesterday, but they need to check my grades first because I did so bad fall quarter. Iknowit’sfinesojustlookandgivememyfuckingmoneyasshats.
Also, been hearing from my ex a lot, which has me all out of whack. I keep thinking about him, and then I remember there was a reason we broke up and how happy the guy I’m talking to makes me. Although I’m kind of bitter that he’s hardly talked to me today despite how much I could use it. It’s been long and stressful and I really just don’t want to think about it. He’s entirely capable of taking my mind off of it. I’m thoroughly convinced that the reason I didn’t know my foot was broken and it didn’t bother me was because he’s was there for me. But I have no idea what he’s been doing all day. On a regular basis I go from adoring him to wondering if he cares about me or fucking me. Big difference.
My head is about to explode. My emotions are everywhere. I’m exhausted. All I can do now is fix what I can and see what happens.